Royal Treatment Begets Royal Results

While men strive to appear to the outward world as unflinching heroes, their armor falls away exposing them for the creatures they truly are. Most men long to be respected, given space to not let stress consume them and then reflect those same things back upon the one they love. Taking this approach can be challenging as it means placing trust in the eventual outcome. Often the rewards far outweigh the effort.

Stepping to Royalty

Relationships and moving within them operate within a paradigm giving the impression of ease. As with most things, the nuances of these steps require far more energy than first expected.

* Listen to What He Says and Does Not Say: Everyone, even those who turn out to be the most guarded, end up disclosing exactly what they want. Taking note of what is being shared gives a window into the other person's heart. Unfortunately, the window is often opaque requiring occasional questions to make sure things are on the right track.

* Time with Other Guys: Encouraging him to spend time with his friends proves important. Some men either bury the part of them which needs masculine friendship or they selfishly rip it away from other things. Imagining how he would respond if the pressure was removed by granting him freedom to do it as he decided makes the gift bestowed even sweeter. He will be glad even if he does not understand why.

* Share His Experiences: By making sure to do things with him, he will notice a desire to be included. There will be times or events he may not wish to share, but his appreciation may grow with the offer. Approaching these things with an open mind shows him how invested you are in him and what he likes.

* Let Him Hear from You: Knowing their woman fights along side them, sees the things they do and wants the best for them bolsters men and feeds them with confidence they sometimes feel fading. Being encouraging seems like a small thing. Good men only need a little nudge to remind them how much better their life is with you in it.

Royal Benefits:

Seeing direct responses to actions leads to positive outpouring from one partner to another. Let's see how they manifest themselves in relation to the four steps.

* He Hears You: A man heard by his partner will extend the same courtesy.
* He Treasures Time with You: With time away, he will see how nice it is to be around their partner.
* He Pursues Your Interests: With a lack of securing things for himself, he will be more inclined to experience some of your interests without any cajoling necessary.
* He Encourages You: He, filled with confidence and security, will pour the same qualities out in return.

These qualities on both sides need to flow from a place of love. No one should ever feel compelled to only give and never receive anything in return. Also, taking these steps with only a view toward the outcome poisons what is growing within the relationship. A man who feels safe, secure and respected will want to make sure you feel the same things and much more.

Mending Fences with Apolgies

When facing a longing to reestablish a relationship with an ex, several steps present themselves as avenues into a repaired union. No one way exists to reforge the place in one another's life.

The truth is, because each couple lives within their own ecosystem, tried and fast rules never exist in a global fashion. One of the few assurances to beginning the process centers around asking for forgiveness.

Taking into account the purpose and benefits of apologizing demonstrates how romance may be rekindled.

Purpose of an Apology

Asking for forgiveness can serve many roles in the parameters of a healthy relationship. All sorts of wrongs crop up within a multitude of situations. Work, family and romance stirs up mistakes requiring someone to admit these shortcomings and move forward. The hardest part can be the admission of what has been done wrong. People seek to defend themselves in an argument going so far as turning a blind eye to errors of judgement, harsh words and a litany of slights climbing to a crescendo and breaking the relationship in two.

Benefits for the Harmed

For those who have been wronged, they find receiving an apology key in putting the pain of the past behind them. Let's look at some of the benefits for those needing an apology.

* Acknowledgement of the Past: Too often, people carry unspoken pain coupled with questions regarding their view of the situation. Such a level of uncertainty weighs on an individual until they start questioning their view of the past.

* Shedding Light: Hearing an apology opens their eyes to know the person apologizing cares for them. It also changes their point of view. They witness the care a true apology provides a window into the other's heart and demonstrating the care bestowed by them.

Benefits for the One Apologizing

Just as there clear positives for the one receiving the apology, the person apologizing changes for the better also. This concept may be difficult to assess. People often reside in a place where they are always right and never need to admit they were wrong.

* Letting Go: Harming someone, even in a mild way, leaves a mark on both people. A sense of relief will arise following the offering of an apology. One of the funny aspects is how one feels after the act regardless of the response. The knowledge of having done everything possible frees one from the burden of ongoing responsibility.

* Fresh Eyes: With the poison of the past hurts set aside, one can look at their partner afresh. This new view allows an opportunity to move forward. Though the direction may not blossom into a refreshed relationship, a clearer view is worth any cost.

Bear in mind, this is broken down in this way to ease the explanation. No one in any relationship ever finds themselves completely in the right or wrong camp. The narrative one tells places them at the center as the hero of their own story. Both sides will eventually need to switch roles giving the same grace to the other if things are going to continue. The benefits, regardless of the outcome, far outweigh strictly the return of a romantic relationship. That is what everyone should be striving for.

Blocks to Building Trust

Trust in relationships mimic a web created with tiny strands and decisions. Knowing the right time move forward or reweave a certain section proves tricky. Couples need a solid plan establishing the foundation and building from their base. Countless people believe they know every aspect regarding trust. If this were true, few relationships would end over broken trust. With that in mind, couples must take into account more than trite ideals.

Communicate

Couples seeking deeper trust, even when starting out, must communicate with one another. Often this seems far too easy. When asked what they do well, both members of the pair typically say they possess a great handle on communicating. The strict law of averages will tell anyone not every person has the keen grasp on communication they believe they do. This means everyone, no matter what they believe, needs to work on their skills.

* Listen: The cornerstone of trust involves taking in the information of the other person and must come first every time.
* Speak: Stone cold silence stifles any hope forming a bond. Sharing breaths life into the spark of communication.
* Clarify: Brief exchanges verifying what has been disclosed eases the conversation forward allowing for deeper topics to arise.

Connect

The next step to building trust revolves around connecting with a partner. Communication, at least initially, can stay at a surface level. If a couple wants to deepen their trust, they must be brave and connect on deeper topics. These areas can be fraught with risk because people develop viewpoints which may be challenged in ways they find uncomfortable. In that difficult space, trust is forged.

* History: Mutually confessing past hurts displays chinks in the perfect images and allowing the other to witness true shortcomings.
* Future: Hopes and dreams live in the space beyond the now. By delving into these areas, couples get windows into each other's hearts in special ways.
* Beliefs: Trust can flourish in a debate about things held sacred by each person. The very insubstantial nature of these topics means a bond becomes critical in ways simple conversation alone will never cover.

Care

This final step brings couples to the pinnacle of trust building because it connects the first two in the unique space beyond the obvious. Couples can believe they communicate well. They also can feel connected to one another. Care for each other comes from a place far different. It is a melding of the head and the heart. Intellect may carry the pair to lip of the diving board. The plunge occurs when the heart sees no other avenue than caring for the person. Caring never means blindly moving forward without communication or connection. Care overwhelms past prejudices allowing light and love to flow inside the couple.

It is best to see the three steps as strands of a cord braided together. No one will care with out sharing their heart. Connection never goes deeper than spirited debates in the absence of care. There is a place where they all mix into something stronger than the three skills alone. Couples with a strong bond will be secure with trust to carry them through any trial and into deeper love.

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Giving Him What He Needs

Every person requires specific things within their relationships to help them to flourish. Sometimes individuals find knowing or articulating these needs more difficult than imagined.

For someone on the outside, it becomes easier to see the valleys requiring the most attention. This clears the way for them to respond accordingly. Men present specific areas where their partner proves able to buoy them into a higher level.

Physical Intimacy

Men respond in a particular way to physicality. The impression of men always craving sex turns out to be rooted in their response to physical closeness. While proximity does not always lead to sex, it grows harder as couples become closer to extricate one from the other. Caution should be used, especially early on, when walking into this territory because of the confusion generated by too closely tying sex to every single form of contact.

What To Do: Start with small touches in areas that are sweet without being overly intimate. The neck, upper arms and back are good areas to begin with. Also, letting him touch you in return creates a bond beyond the hours of conversation you have.

Room to Grow

Men need to feel the sensation of being able to roam. In most situations, the sensation is enough. They are not looking to stray or even leave the security of the relationship. The idea of being able to move about pursing things at their own pace allows a natural sense of wanderlust to be slacked.

What To Do: Urge him to take nights or weekends with his friends. Through this small act, he will return excited to be back in your presence once more. It is also best to let him share what he wants to rather than pursing a bunch of details.

Emotional Closeness

Similar to the physicality, men crave the knowledge their partner longs to be close with them emotionally. They may not express such things at the beginning because of the risk involved. Men need to feel they are in a safe place with someone who has supported them. In this space, they become able to disclose the depth of what they are feeling.

What To Do: Start slow and model emotional sharing. Men, though sometimes emotionally unaware, know surrendering the things they feel to their partner feels good. They often have not been encouraged in this are, so you have to take on that role.

Encouragement and Respect

Everyone requires a pat on the back from time to time. Men often fail to absorb these expressions of care either because they do not believe they need it or they have received too little of it to activate them properly. Too often it is assumed men subsist fine without these things. A lack of familiarity should never be confused with life being satisfactory without their partner's encouragement and respect.

What To Do: Repeat yourself until your partner genuinely accepts what is being said. A careful examination of expressions and responses might be necessary to verify he does not push them aside without taking them into his heart.

Several of these things sound simple and they often begin in such a way. Taking the time, giving freely and being grateful as the relationship deepens demonstrates how important these areas are. We all impact one another. A garden may begin small and then flourish into a rich and varied verdant valley. Go slow, see the growth and revel in the ways you and your partner grow closer. You will be glad you did.

Three Areas Pointing to the End of a Relationship

Every couple longs for eternity. Unfortunately, forever challenges all couples regardless of how they started, what they have survived and the best of intentions. Being able to spot when things are coming off the rails in a relationship will allow everyone to assess what needs to be done to salvage it and if they wish to invest the time.

Area One: Communication

Communication is held up as the best barometer for telling the status of a relationship. Part of this stems from how pervasive an aspect of the whole relationship communication turns out to be. So how can a couple tell if trouble is brewing in the arena of communication?

All Is Quiet: Long, uncomfortable silences charged with tension define the time spent together. This may occur because one of the pair feels no desire to expend the energy to engage in healthy communication.

Swimming in the Shallow End: When discussions happen, the topics remain light or non threatening. Short and unemotional answers replace detailed explanations of troubles at work or pleasant things noted in the world.

Explosive Endings: If deeper conversational topic arise, couples on the brink devolve in to yelling and name calling rather than pursuing the underlying issue. It is often surprising how much energy those who want to fight can find.

Area Two: Affection

Affection takes many forms. Some of the most obvious center around the physical. While a good space to begin the search, couples concerned about the health of their relationship need to look beyond the easiest to disguise. Couple in failing relationships may seek physical pleasure when nothing else works.

Loss of Physicality: Outside of intimate physicality, couples nearing the end find no comfort or pleasure in the touch of one another. They are less likely to hold hands, hug, kiss or snuggle. These little gestures demonstrate how far apart they are.

Inequality of Time: Healthy couples spend time with one another and apart. Conversely, unhealthy relations tip towards more time apart. It can have reasonable explanations, but the separation shows how disconnected the partners are.

No Kind Acts: Recalling a time where love bloomed and blossomed, these couples may have made a cup of tea, offered a foot rub or other gestures just because. Every couple, even the harried, need to reach out in special ways. If such things evaporate, the couple needs to be concerned.

Area Three: Future

Couples nearing the end report findings themselves on a relational treadmill from which they cannot remove themselves. Seasons of staleness in long relationships are natural for a brief period and all couples face them. As thing wind down, one or both of the partners see no future with this person. They might even begin planning for life without the other person. Such behavior might manifest as searching for apartments in another area of the city, applying for work in another region or living a separate life. A couple not growing toward a future together, in some form or fashion, dies where they stand.

When the end comes, being honest and having a talk can be the hardest thing to do. Couples would prefer not acknowledge this because of feeling like failure or not knowing what is next. Ultimately, things ending respectfully eases the transition to the next phase. Everyone would rather feel strong and healthy moving forward, so have the talk.