Keto Diet Benefits

Recently, the keto diet has become extremely popular for its health benefits such as weight loss and preventing disease. The keto diet can be hugely beneficial, but how does it work to provide these benefits?

What is the Keto Diet?

You may have heard of the high-protein, low-carbohydrate Atkins diet. The keto diet keeps carbohydrate levels low, but instead of ramping up the amount of protein in your diet, the keto diet increases the amount of fat. A typical keto diet aims for meals with 75% fat, 20% protein, and 5% carbohydrate. Eating a high-fat diet can still mean eating healthy. Keto diet menu items often include seafood, meat, dairy products, eggs, vegetables, and nuts. With the increased popularity of the keto diet, keto recipes are widely available.

How Does the Keto Diet Work?

It might seem counterintuitive that adding more fat to your diet can lead to weight loss. Normally, your diet is high in carbohydrates, which are broken down into glucose, or blood sugar, for use as energy. As glucose enters your bloodstream, your body releases insulin to store excess glucose as fat. The more carbohydrates, the more glucose. The more glucose, the more insulin, and the more insulin, the more fat.

The keto diet takes advantage of the fact that when your meals are high-fat and low-carbohydrate, there is no insulin spike, and you don't add to your fat reserves. Instead, fat from diet and stored fat are broken down to ketones ("keto" is short for "ketogenic" producing ketones). Like glucose, ketones can be used for energy, keeping your body running without increasing blood sugar or putting on excess fat. The benefits of the keto diet can be huge.

Weight Loss

Overall, the keto diet is an excellent way to burn fat and lose weight. Eating fewer carbohydrates suppresses appetite, and studies have shown that keto diet participants eat fewer calories overall because of this. Burning fat for energy can lead to rapid weight loss.

Reduced Blood Sugar and Insulin

Since carbohydrate intake is limited, blood sugar and insulin levels are lowered. This is particularly important for people with type 2 diabetes, which causes a buildup of glucose in the bloodstream. The keto diet can be used to reduce or eliminate the need for diabetic insulin injections.

Reduced Triglycerides

Fat subunit molecules called triglycerides normally circulate in your bloodstream. High levels of triglycerides are a significant risk factor in the development of heart disease. In the keto diet, because fat is being burned for energy, the number of triglyceride molecules in the bloodstream decreases, reducing the risk of heart disease.

Improved Cholesterol

"Bad" (LDL) cholesterol is another risk factor for heart disease. Too much bad cholesterol in your bloodstream builds up in your arteries, narrowing them and causing atherosclerosis, a type of heart disease. The keto diet reduces bad cholesterol levels while increasing the level of "good" (HDL) cholesterol in your body.

Summary

The keto diet provides many health benefits. This diet can not only help you quickly lose weight, but can also improve your overall health and help prevent disease.

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3 Ways To Intensify Your Orgasms and Intimacy During Lovemaking

One of the biggest challenges in a long-term relationship is trying to keep things exciting in the bedroom. 

Whether it’s work, the kids or the other 1000 things you need to do, dedicating time to keep the fire burning in your sex life is often easier said than done.  Let’s face it, we all have busy lives. Therefore, it makes sense to find ideas that can be used again and again in your lovemaking repertoire.

Lo and behold: “100 Sex Games For Couples.” Sex games really are a great way to keep things fresh and original and often have a longer reusable value than most techniques and positions.

But does this book by Michael Webb really deliver? Let’s find out :D

To begin, I really liked the introduction of the book and how it talked about intimacy being spiritual, emotional and physical. It really sets the tone for the whole book and emphasizes that these games are really about “making love,” not having sex.

So what about the games themselves? Actually, I was surprised to find there were only 33 sex games in the book. Instead, the other 67 games are variations of the original 33 games, changing the rules of the games to create different versions. While this was a little disappointing at first, after reading the book, I became quite excited to try many of the games myself. There is more than enough in there to keep things exciting for a long time. And of course, some games will keep you entertained longer than others.

However, on the flipside, you won’t find many of these games anywhere else. In that sense, they truly are original and unique. I was really pleased with the level of imagination and creativity when it comes to these games. 

You’ll find exciting games such as: a guessing game (one of my personal favorites), a night of passion that starts elsewhere, a game where stories become your drive for pleasure, a card game with a twist, a great game to choose your bedroom clothing, and many others involving food, communicating, touching and sharing intimate moments.

All in all, the book is well worth the asking price, considering it could be the very thing that brings you closer together as a couple!

So the verdict? I LOVE it and I definitely recommend “100 Sex Games For Couples” to any couple that wants to bring back the fire and add that magic touch.

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How to Save Your Marriage When Your Partner Mentions Divorce

There are numerous reasons why a once committed relationship would degenerate to one partner asking for a divorce. It could have been:

- an affair
- having been separated by a long distance for lengths of time
- conflict
- behavioral issues or psychological problems of one spouse
- even unmanaged addictions.

Whatever of these problems may be what is seen on the surface, the bottom line is that usually, barring any abuse or psychological problems that are best handled by a professional, a couple find themselves in danger of divorce when there is a loss of:

- communication,
- love
- and intimacy

in the marital relationship.

Conflict or anger itself does not have to cause an irreparable rift between partners. With good communication skills and a shared commitment to a marriage, even these are surmountable. However, at that point where one partner is at the brink of abandoning the relationship, how can the remaining partner save their marriage? If you are at the point where your spouse has asked for a divorce, what can you do?

You must realize first that, YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE. Often, when confronted by a crisis, we find ourselves backed into a corner thinking we have no choice in the matter. How can we change the situation when it involves another person's feelings or decisions? While we cannot, MUST NOT and IN NO WAY manipulate, blackmail or threaten our partner into changing their mind, we can actually control how we react to the situation. If anything, you must realize that you still have control over yourself. You have the opportunity to look inward and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions and even have the chance to take personal inventory of what your partner is trying to tell you. Are there points in your marriage that must be changed? If so, respond appropriately and proactively.

Here's the thing. You can choose to wallow in pain and anger or you can choose to become even more positive and loving towards your spouse. You can choose to blame and shame your partner or you can choose to take stock, be accountable for where your marriage is and move on towards a more fulfilling, happy you. Yes, you heard me. You can choose to be fulfilled and happy in the midst of crisis.

Even if your spouse is stubborn and unresponsive, you can still change yourself and become as engaging, positive and proactive as you were when you first fell in love. Usually, at the struggling stage of a relationship, one or both couples would look back and miss the good old days where it was easy to be together. You can capture those days again ' and even add to them with your own current maturity and growth. After all, you did not spend those years after the wedding for nothing. You and your spouse have made a huge investment into this partnership and your intention to stay in the marriage through positive loving actions, through open communication and strengthened commitment can help your spouse refocus his view on what you once committed to.

Become a loving person again by caring for your spouse in the little everyday things. Be there for him or her when before you may have been too much of a workaholic. Set aside intimate time just for your partner alone whereas previously, you may have let the kids take up too much of your time.

Then, when the time comes that you are able to open communication with your spouse and actually sit down and discuss the crisis you're in 'ask him or her if he or she realizes just how much effort a divorce could entail? Does your spouse actually realize that a divorce has emotional, financial, logistical and physical consequences? A divorce brings CHANGE and it is definitely not to be taken lightly. If your spouse wants a divorce, is he or she prepared to embrace this change?

Finally, you also have the option to involve a third party or mediator to help you and your spouse through this situation. If the situation is truly serious then by all means, get help. This is not the time to let your pride get in the way. A professional counselor, trusted elder or neutral friend can help in putting things into perspective between you and your partner and may even help unlock deep seated concerns or issues.  For all you know, it may be as simple as your partner wanting more attention or more ways to open up to you.

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Conversation Tips - How to Talk To Men

Everybody has sticking points, whether it's work, relationships or life in general.  But that's fine and dandy because the learning process is what makes us better women.

Perhaps you're struggling with certain behaviors or fears that might be keeping you from making the most out of your love life.  Not to worry though; author Mirabelle Summers has created the ultimate game-free guide on how to do just THAT:

The "Get A Great Guy Guide" is just the thing you need to achieve the breakthrough that you've been waiting for.  With its sensible, no-nonsense and down-to-earth advice for the sassy, modern girl, finding AND holding on to a quality man will be a cinch!

Now then - one of the most common stumbling blocks to more romance in a woman's life is a simple lack of conversational know-now.  The good news is that this can be LEARNED and immediately applied in your everyday life!

Especially while you're face-to-face with a potential lover!

Oftentimes the problem is that some well-meaning girls overlook the importance of having the right communication style.  It's not that they WANT to be boring; they're merely unaware of how to hold a conversation.

No sensible gal is going to get up in the morning and tell herself, "I wonder how I'm gonna BORE the socks off of that cute stranger I'm going run into at the coffee shop today?"

If you want to become a better conversationalist, it's important to consider if you've grown accustomed to certain patterns of speech that are actually counterproductive.  Sometimes, you need to step back and ask if you've fallen into certain habits which you've numbed yourself to over time.

So the first step towards any form of improvement is SELF-AWARENESS.  Think about the way you normally carry a conversation with a guy and ask yourself if your style could use some polishing.

Of course, I don't want you to start beating yourself up if you feel that the way you talk to men isn't as attractive as you might want it to be.  Like I said earlier, there's always room for improvement, and it's definitely a good thing to know EXACTLY which areas can be improved.

With that said, I want you to go over the following tip you can use to enhance your communication style:

# 1: Rapport is Key

It may sound like the simplest thing in the world to say, but the fact is lots of perfectly adorable women have a hard time doing this.
It's mainly because they only have a VAGUE idea of what rapport is, so naturally you can't create something you can't really put a pin on!

So let's clear up the fog surrounding this topic and identify what it is exactly.  In a nutshell, having rapport is about having a CONNECTION with someone.

You know how you hook up your iPod or mobile phone to your computer, and they suddenly have this mutual understanding?  It's kind of like that, but on a DEEPER level.

Let me give you a clearer picture: if you were at a party packed with all manner of gorgeous, articulate and friendly men, which one of them are you likely to REALLY fall for?

Since they're all visually and mentally appealing, you might have a hard time figuring out which guy suits you.  Chances are the one who naturally understands you will be the man you'd want to date.

Why is that?  Well, doesn't it feel just GREAT when a person instinctively senses where you're coming from?

I'm sure you've met at least one person in your life who you inexplicably feel drawn to.  That's because that person seems to perfectly understand and echo back your own opinions or feelings.

That sense of being connected is what rapport is all about.  Fortunately, it's actually not hard at all to do this in your daily conversations.

The first thing to keep in mind is that you need to be on the 'same page' as the person you're talking to.  There are easy ways to do this.

For example, keep an ear out for specific concepts or values that are personally close to the person you�re in a conversation with.  If he brings up that it�s important to him to have some quiet time everyday, store that away for future reference.

Later on you can echo back that same concept by telling him about how YOU like to spend your alone time:  ï¿½At the end of the day I like to spend an hour or so curling up with a good book and a nice warm cup of chamomile tea.  It really helps decompress after a crazy day, you know what I mean?�

Step back and watch his eyes light up like a Christmas tree!  By taking something close to his heart and giving it back to him in a genuine way, your words will make quite the IMPACT on him.

So, rapport really has to do a lot with speaking the same 'language'.  Now of course, I don't mean you have to start mimicking everything he's saying like a little parrot, but rather do it in an EMOTIONAL sense.

Discovering and talking about the values that resonate with you BOTH is a way to speak the same language.
When you think about it, we often adapt our modes of speech depending on the context we're in.

For example, you wouldn't talk to your friends, family, colleagues, or elders in the same EXACT way would you?

So don't think that you're being a phony by making an effort to speak in the same way that he does.  You're simply getting into the practice of communicating in a way that's APPROPRIATE to the situation.

And when it comes to chatting up gorgeous guys, a meeting of the minds is best done through rapport-building speech patterns!

# 2: Switch Off Your Brain

Don't get me wrong, the kinds of guys who are worth your time are into women of SUBSTANCE.  And certainly, this next conversational tip is not about acting air-headed or ditzy.

All I'm advising you do is keep your sexy brain from going into overdrive!  A common mistake that intelligent women often commit is to think too much about certain things.

They get so caught up in their own world of thoughts that they'll come off as aloof or distracted, when in reality they're just petrified from FEAR of not knowing what to say next.

If you don't want your brain from stalling on you, then you have to quiet your thoughts and shut out the nagging distractions in your pretty little noggin.

The attraction-killing thoughts I'm talking about are those coming from the inner critic trying to sabotage your conversation.  Sometimes, we make the mistake of mentally scolding ourselves after saying something that felt out of place or unfunny.

Other times, we're lost in a maze of thoughts on what to say next or get bogged down in a swamp of self-consciousness.

When you feel your brain going in this direction, acknowledge what's going on and DROP these mental distractions.

There's a handy little trick you can do in case your attention is drifting off to la-la land: instead of obsessing about how you look in his eyes or what he might be thinking, simply divert your attention to HIM.

It's a girl's best defense against looking aloof or detached from the conversation (or from this plane of reality for that matter!).  So remember to shut off this part of your brain, and you'll do just fine.

On another note however, sometimes it's the guy you're talking to that's feeling self-conscious.  If that's the case, then don't act or talk in any way that might give away you're AWARE of it.

Just play it cool and don't dwell on the vibe he's giving off.  It'll only make things more awkward if you let his state affect your own.

# 3: Humor is Your Best Friend

Maybe you're still feeling each other out and you're trying to get a handle on how to connect to this hunk of a guy.  But the awkward flow of your conversation is creating a major interference in your connection so you�re having a hard time 'broadcasting' your signal.

Fear not, friend!  The quickest way to clear up all that 'static' is by creating a private joke which you can share with him.  When you both have some knee-slapping ground to start on, this accelerates the rapport-building process.

My long-time friend Marcus has a great story to illustrate my point.  He says:

"One of my first jobs was a freelance product writer for all sorts of health merchandise.  During one assignment I was talking with this guy who was telling me about the benefits of a sports bracelet that supposedly reduces muscular fatigue.  I had to put on the bracelet and pretended how less tense my arm felt as I was stretching it. Monique, his pretty sales assistant, was visibly chuckling at how funny I looked during the product demo (though she tried her best to hide it)."

Marcus was then able to use this funny incident as an inside joke when he started chatting up Monqiue.  To her delight, he referred to the silly arm-stretching debacle several times during their conversation.

To his benefit, Monique was game enough to tease him about it when they eventually started dating.  The moral of the story here is that when used properly, humor serves as a great bridge between two people.

Heck, any doctor knows about the therapeutic effect of laughter.  One way to bring on the charm is to put your man on a natural high by cracking a joke or making a witty comment!

Making people laugh will make people (cute guys included) want to be around you to get a dose of your feel-good charisma.

Of course, there's a big difference between laughing at a joke and MAKING one.  However, appearing to be effortless at humor isn't as hard as you might think.

Don't assume you need to transform yourself into a standup comic at the drop of a hat.

Generally, a good punch line is the result of properly setting up the joke beforehand.  If you need to explain the punch line after delivering it, it means you didn't build enough suspense first.

(Think about how some characters on TV bumble a perfectly good joke by explaining too much and adding a "get it, get it?" at the end.)

A good way to build up a joke is by keeping a relatively straight face and suppressing any snickers before dropping the punch line on him.  Otherwise there won't be any escalation.

That's what comedic timing is all about: buttering up the audience and then BAM, you get the drop on them with a well-placed punch line!

Notice how comedians like Conan O'Brien or Tina Fey churn out the funnies.  They like to talk about a mundane news item (the set-up) and then making a zany comment about it (the payoff).

As an aside, avoid making any pop culture references that might alienate or confuse the person you're talking to.  It's good to be mindful of the particular person in front of you so he can better relate to your "material".

However, don't worry about making leaps and bounds in this particular area of conversation.  Try adapting these habits of humor little by little into your speech.

Once you hit your stride and finally struck a guy's funny bone, you'll notice how easier it is to keep him laughing with a follow-up joke!

One last way to be funny without overdoing it is by doing the "pretend seriousness" routine.  A little lighthearted irony goes a long way with certain folks!

Let's pretend that your friend introduced you to this incredibly cute guy who happens to be just into music as you are.  So halfway through the conversation he confesses to not having heard about a certain band you absolutely adore.

Take advantage of this opportunity by *playfully* retorting, "Tell me you're kidding.  Otherwise, I'm gonna have to drag you to my place and make you listen to my (name of band) records until you see the light.  Seriously!"

Admittedly, this approach might not work on everyone, but if he seems like the guy who's game enough to go along with the fun, then give it a shot!

#4: Converse With an OPEN Ear

Some women might think that listening is just a simple matter of hearing what the other person is telling them.  Truth is, this basic skill we've been taught to use over the years is often taken for granted.

Sometimes, we find ourselves zoning out a bit (refer to tip # 2) when we should be PAY ATTENTION in the full sense of the verb.  A typical mistake is to listen on a superficial level and merely use the time the guy is talking to think of something to say.

This might sound like common sense, but I have this to share: you'd have a better chance of saying something worthwhile if you truly listened to what the other person just said.

I�ve told countless friends and colleagues that your genuine attention is a very powerful tool for conversational success!  Really listening to his jokes and stories is a simple but effective way to make him feel good about himself.

And what red-blooded man wouldn't want to be around a sassy girl that he can associate his GOOD FEELINGS with?

The gift of showing real interest is the direct path to greater rapport in ANY sort of conversation you're in.  Although our general interest here is to attract men through a good chat, we also have to consider the big picture here.

An attractive woman is someone who can have a great conversation with just about anybody.  When you have a POSITIVE attitude towards the rest of humankind, it's an indication of how you'd be on a date.

...or as a girlfriend.

If you're there to talk with ANYONE purely for the pleasure of their company... and NOT because you want their approval... then that sincerity will naturally show.

People (hunks included) just tend you like more when you want to hang out with them with NO strings attached.

So what I'm saying here is that you shouldn't just limit your awesome conversational skills to men alone.  Find an opportunity to flex your social muscles and chat up a storm with the next person you run into!

It doesn't matter if it's the nice old lady at the library, the friendly cashier at your favorite coffee place, or your fellow students at yoga class.  Every person out there offers a chance for you to become a more sociable person.

Trust me, this mindset is the sure-fire path to becoming drop-dead gorgeous in the long run!  What have you got to lose after all?

And part of developing the right mindset is by expanding your knowledge and beliefs about dating, courtesy of Meet Your Sweet's "Get a Great Guy Guide."

When you think about it, the cost of failure is pretty much ZERO, so get out there and work it!

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Five Boyfriends to Avoid As a Japan Woman

Five Boyfriends to Avoid if you're a Japan Girl



In a time where almost anything can be customized and delivered, relationships still require work. This usually means weeding out those who are not right. Spotting problems early and extricating from sticky entanglements frees one up to seek the right person. Even smart people can be tricked into believing certain truisms about potential boyfriends. They need to accurately identify problem people and the trouble they can cause.

Silent

"He's the strong silent type."

This phrase suffuses conversations and media about the man who stays quiet in the face of almost everything. An important caveat to this centers around the idea of "strong" and "silent" being mutually exclusive. Not everyone who is strong is quietly contemplative. Therefore, not everyone who holds his tongue proves the strongest in the room. Silence can breed uncertainty and leave too much open to interpretation. Quiet waters can run deep, but it does not mean they are listening.

Talkative

"He doesn't meet a stranger."


This guy fills all the space with words. While this removes the conversational burden, an endless conversationalist may say far less than it appears. The tendency is to believe this type of man is rare given the archetype of the quiet men. Fortunately, variety abounds meaning there are Chandler Bings, full of nervous conversation, as there are men of few words. The disadvantage of these men centers around them not providing space for others to share and absorbing the information when it is their turn to listen.

The Comic

"He's always making us laugh."

A sunny outlook and quick wit can make times light. This outlook proves necessary when things become too serious. One of the greatest challenges for men like this comes from turning off their humorous side. When they respond with a joke during a serious time, it undercuts the importance of what is happening. They sometimes chose to use humor to distance themselves from what they are feeling, so it creates rifts causing unspoken topics to grow and become more difficult to uncover.

So Serious

"He's so mature."

Depending on the history, a guy who projects a mature demeanor can be refreshing. He comes across as stable. This archetype might have been more evident in the past where everyone wore suits and drank scotch with perpetual frowns. The bad news is these guys still exist. They may wear ironic t shirts, but they still see everything as critical. This may start as a world view before morphing into specifics about themselves and their partners. It can be difficult to find the fun of dating with this person despite the good head he has on shoulders.

Overly Aggressive

"He knows what he wants and is decisive."

In this day and age of compliance, a man who speaks directly may seem refreshing. The charm of a man who comes across in this way exists in contrast to others who appear too sensitive or timid. Unfortunately, decisive can become demanding to the point of not taking in the concerns of others. These behaviors bubble up early in very subtle ways including the way they treat people in service positions, conflicts escalating from no where and ending discussion when not getting what they want.

Going through each candidate, they all have aspects making them a good partner. Silent allows space for conversation. Talkative shares what is going on. The comic keeps the mood light. So serious follows deeper topics. Even aggressive possess the positive attribute of making decisions. The ideal boyfriend will have a variety aspects and know when each one should present itself. The reward rests in finding the one that listens, shares, laughs, contemplates and defends in the right way for you.

This program will you more to get a perfect foreign guy for you.

Uncover Secret Psychology That Turns A Man's Lust Into The Kind Of Love

Often times, us women compare ourselves to other females. We think that if a woman's a better catch than us, men will choose her. And if we're a better catch than her, he'll choose us.

We think that if we do nice things for a guy, he'll want to date us.

We feel that if we give a guy good reasons why it's time for him to settle down, he will.

We believe that if we make a good argument why we're the best possible catch a guy can get, he'll want to be with us and only us forever.

Why do we do these things?

We wrongly assume that us women are driven by our emotions and men are driven by logic.

Tailoring a Dating Profile to Attract the Right Man

Computer dating sites sprang up as a replacement to matchmakers and nights of cold calling for potential mates at local bars and clubs. Technology eases the act of meeting. However, the onus falls to the person presenting themselves online, maybe even more so than in person, because of ways the dating profile can be customized. This means knowing what to include and responding to feedback becomes ever more critical to increase the opportunity to meet the right guy and not just a guy.

Closing Down Avenues

The laundry list of people and characteristics available through online sites means the weave of the net can be incredibly tight. Age, lifestyle, faith and other criteria lock people into certain categories from the outset. This means a site aggregating those of a particular religion may never meet someone of a different worldview.

Because of this segmenting, the profile presented should remain as open as possible to allow as many people to see it. Striking too many options from a particular list means stopping someone from hitting reply. One of psychological hurdles facing everyone centers around the belief what they want for themselves is paramount and "right." Loosening the restrictions does not mean low to no standards. It permits the opportunity to meet someone who may show a new way of looking at the world to see if they are the right person.

Open to Fun

Stressing serious, even foundational, matters at the initial introduction torpedoes any future meeting. The profile exists in a space closer to a greeting. For this reason, hot button issues and dark moments from one's past have no place on a dating profile. Here are some ways to hue closer to the light side and giving a chance for deeper sharing further down the line.

* Picture: Big smile, out of the house and in the sun if possible. Several sites allow multiple photos, so have a variety.

* Activities: Select a few hobbies presenting a variety of interests. Everyone likes movies, but hikers and artists can stand out.

* Clever: Take some time to personalize the profile with the real aspects of your personality. If you like a historical quote or your detailed pumpkin carving, use it.

Emphasize "Dating with Purpose"

Men reading dating profiles seek women who desire a meeting while not on an endless carousel of dates. The reason you both signed up to the site centers on finding someone and growing together. If not, there are other sites for more casual encounters. Take the dating part seriously. Meet people, go out and have fun. Someone in in a dating loop may need to reassess the profile and intent of being on the site.

All of these suggestions can feel as though you are being asked to be something you are not. Ultimately, you need to be honest on your profile, with yourself and those who respond. Take your time because rushing things will only yield greater dry spells and dates with the wrong guys. The goal should be to find someone you want to spend all your time with. So craft the right message and let the dating sites help you find the right one.

Get Simple Words & Phrases That Capture His Heart

Salve for the Pain from Breaking Up

The sting at the end of a relationship leaves many people lost and floundering. In the haze of pain, one can wonder if they will every come out the other side whole even if they have suffered heartbreaks in the past. Those in pain need a course of action where they feel progress being made dealing with what they went through and becoming a better person at the other end. Let's look at some steps for moving forward.

Take Time Away

Even the most resilient people require time to let the hurt of a break up subside. The initial days and weeks magnify the pain one is feeling. An important thing for everyone to do at this point is taking a step away from things and granting themselves permission to feel the pain. Like a seed planted in the ground, buried pain rises to spread its vines throughout a person's life and future relationships. A hurt person will want to be well as soon as possible. A quick resolution becomes less of a catharsis and more of a burial.

Keep Busy with Other Things

Laying greater focus on the former relationship and its demise will trigger negative feelings. While self examination and evaluation of the relationship may be a good exercise at some point, this should never be done immediately at the end. Skewed perspectives will lead one to misinterpret things. One needs to take advantage of the situation. They may get away from relationships and focus on other areas.

Educate: Delving to a particular area of interest, perhaps neglected even prior to the relationship, may open up several areas. It is wise to narrow the focus to interests with personal history and avoid things one may have followed with the partner.

Explore: Travel and new activities means exposure to things. This richness creates a more interesting individual. One need only be limited by their own imagination. Crafts and hobbies often spring from this fertile ground.

Examine: During a relationship, one might lose touch with themselves making the time following an even greater challenge. Getting back in touch and casting an eye toward things going on inside may yield additional fruit over time.

Be Gentle

Too often following a break up, people grow critical about everything. This attitude starts as a protective shell against the pain they are feeling and then morphs to encompass so much more. The first step to avoiding bitterness over a break up requires being gentle to oneself. Some have never talked to themselves, either internally or externally, with the care they would one of their friends. They need to extend the same kindness to themselves to help the healing process.

Get Out of the House

Isolation suffocates people in pain. They think lack of contact will keep them safe from future pain. While this is true on a strictly narrow sense, it creates an environment where they are only alone. Getting out of the house with friends and family will keep one connected to the world at large. This becomes critical when a desire to date again rises because it will be easier to follow through.

The pain can feel insurmountable as though it actively seeks to crush the life from the body. For that reason, acknowledging the pain without giving up one's life to it allows for the possibility of moving through it. Staying engaged by taking time, keeping busy, being gentle and getting into the world proves the healthiest way to grow from rather than being stunted by the pain of a break up.

Royal Treatment Begets Royal Results

While men strive to appear to the outward world as unflinching heroes, their armor falls away exposing them for the creatures they truly are. Most men long to be respected, given space to not let stress consume them and then reflect those same things back upon the one they love. Taking this approach can be challenging as it means placing trust in the eventual outcome. Often the rewards far outweigh the effort.

Stepping to Royalty

Relationships and moving within them operate within a paradigm giving the impression of ease. As with most things, the nuances of these steps require far more energy than first expected.

* Listen to What He Says and Does Not Say: Everyone, even those who turn out to be the most guarded, end up disclosing exactly what they want. Taking note of what is being shared gives a window into the other person's heart. Unfortunately, the window is often opaque requiring occasional questions to make sure things are on the right track.

* Time with Other Guys: Encouraging him to spend time with his friends proves important. Some men either bury the part of them which needs masculine friendship or they selfishly rip it away from other things. Imagining how he would respond if the pressure was removed by granting him freedom to do it as he decided makes the gift bestowed even sweeter. He will be glad even if he does not understand why.

* Share His Experiences: By making sure to do things with him, he will notice a desire to be included. There will be times or events he may not wish to share, but his appreciation may grow with the offer. Approaching these things with an open mind shows him how invested you are in him and what he likes.

* Let Him Hear from You: Knowing their woman fights along side them, sees the things they do and wants the best for them bolsters men and feeds them with confidence they sometimes feel fading. Being encouraging seems like a small thing. Good men only need a little nudge to remind them how much better their life is with you in it.

Royal Benefits:

Seeing direct responses to actions leads to positive outpouring from one partner to another. Let's see how they manifest themselves in relation to the four steps.

* He Hears You: A man heard by his partner will extend the same courtesy.
* He Treasures Time with You: With time away, he will see how nice it is to be around their partner.
* He Pursues Your Interests: With a lack of securing things for himself, he will be more inclined to experience some of your interests without any cajoling necessary.
* He Encourages You: He, filled with confidence and security, will pour the same qualities out in return.

These qualities on both sides need to flow from a place of love. No one should ever feel compelled to only give and never receive anything in return. Also, taking these steps with only a view toward the outcome poisons what is growing within the relationship. A man who feels safe, secure and respected will want to make sure you feel the same things and much more.

Mending Fences with Apolgies

When facing a longing to reestablish a relationship with an ex, several steps present themselves as avenues into a repaired union. No one way exists to reforge the place in one another's life.

The truth is, because each couple lives within their own ecosystem, tried and fast rules never exist in a global fashion. One of the few assurances to beginning the process centers around asking for forgiveness.

Taking into account the purpose and benefits of apologizing demonstrates how romance may be rekindled.

Purpose of an Apology

Asking for forgiveness can serve many roles in the parameters of a healthy relationship. All sorts of wrongs crop up within a multitude of situations. Work, family and romance stirs up mistakes requiring someone to admit these shortcomings and move forward. The hardest part can be the admission of what has been done wrong. People seek to defend themselves in an argument going so far as turning a blind eye to errors of judgement, harsh words and a litany of slights climbing to a crescendo and breaking the relationship in two.

Benefits for the Harmed

For those who have been wronged, they find receiving an apology key in putting the pain of the past behind them. Let's look at some of the benefits for those needing an apology.

* Acknowledgement of the Past: Too often, people carry unspoken pain coupled with questions regarding their view of the situation. Such a level of uncertainty weighs on an individual until they start questioning their view of the past.

* Shedding Light: Hearing an apology opens their eyes to know the person apologizing cares for them. It also changes their point of view. They witness the care a true apology provides a window into the other's heart and demonstrating the care bestowed by them.

Benefits for the One Apologizing

Just as there clear positives for the one receiving the apology, the person apologizing changes for the better also. This concept may be difficult to assess. People often reside in a place where they are always right and never need to admit they were wrong.

* Letting Go: Harming someone, even in a mild way, leaves a mark on both people. A sense of relief will arise following the offering of an apology. One of the funny aspects is how one feels after the act regardless of the response. The knowledge of having done everything possible frees one from the burden of ongoing responsibility.

* Fresh Eyes: With the poison of the past hurts set aside, one can look at their partner afresh. This new view allows an opportunity to move forward. Though the direction may not blossom into a refreshed relationship, a clearer view is worth any cost.

Bear in mind, this is broken down in this way to ease the explanation. No one in any relationship ever finds themselves completely in the right or wrong camp. The narrative one tells places them at the center as the hero of their own story. Both sides will eventually need to switch roles giving the same grace to the other if things are going to continue. The benefits, regardless of the outcome, far outweigh strictly the return of a romantic relationship. That is what everyone should be striving for.

Blocks to Building Trust

Trust in relationships mimic a web created with tiny strands and decisions. Knowing the right time move forward or reweave a certain section proves tricky. Couples need a solid plan establishing the foundation and building from their base. Countless people believe they know every aspect regarding trust. If this were true, few relationships would end over broken trust. With that in mind, couples must take into account more than trite ideals.

Communicate

Couples seeking deeper trust, even when starting out, must communicate with one another. Often this seems far too easy. When asked what they do well, both members of the pair typically say they possess a great handle on communicating. The strict law of averages will tell anyone not every person has the keen grasp on communication they believe they do. This means everyone, no matter what they believe, needs to work on their skills.

* Listen: The cornerstone of trust involves taking in the information of the other person and must come first every time.
* Speak: Stone cold silence stifles any hope forming a bond. Sharing breaths life into the spark of communication.
* Clarify: Brief exchanges verifying what has been disclosed eases the conversation forward allowing for deeper topics to arise.

Connect

The next step to building trust revolves around connecting with a partner. Communication, at least initially, can stay at a surface level. If a couple wants to deepen their trust, they must be brave and connect on deeper topics. These areas can be fraught with risk because people develop viewpoints which may be challenged in ways they find uncomfortable. In that difficult space, trust is forged.

* History: Mutually confessing past hurts displays chinks in the perfect images and allowing the other to witness true shortcomings.
* Future: Hopes and dreams live in the space beyond the now. By delving into these areas, couples get windows into each other's hearts in special ways.
* Beliefs: Trust can flourish in a debate about things held sacred by each person. The very insubstantial nature of these topics means a bond becomes critical in ways simple conversation alone will never cover.

Care

This final step brings couples to the pinnacle of trust building because it connects the first two in the unique space beyond the obvious. Couples can believe they communicate well. They also can feel connected to one another. Care for each other comes from a place far different. It is a melding of the head and the heart. Intellect may carry the pair to lip of the diving board. The plunge occurs when the heart sees no other avenue than caring for the person. Caring never means blindly moving forward without communication or connection. Care overwhelms past prejudices allowing light and love to flow inside the couple.

It is best to see the three steps as strands of a cord braided together. No one will care with out sharing their heart. Connection never goes deeper than spirited debates in the absence of care. There is a place where they all mix into something stronger than the three skills alone. Couples with a strong bond will be secure with trust to carry them through any trial and into deeper love.

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Giving Him What He Needs

Every person requires specific things within their relationships to help them to flourish. Sometimes individuals find knowing or articulating these needs more difficult than imagined.

For someone on the outside, it becomes easier to see the valleys requiring the most attention. This clears the way for them to respond accordingly. Men present specific areas where their partner proves able to buoy them into a higher level.

Physical Intimacy

Men respond in a particular way to physicality. The impression of men always craving sex turns out to be rooted in their response to physical closeness. While proximity does not always lead to sex, it grows harder as couples become closer to extricate one from the other. Caution should be used, especially early on, when walking into this territory because of the confusion generated by too closely tying sex to every single form of contact.

What To Do: Start with small touches in areas that are sweet without being overly intimate. The neck, upper arms and back are good areas to begin with. Also, letting him touch you in return creates a bond beyond the hours of conversation you have.

Room to Grow

Men need to feel the sensation of being able to roam. In most situations, the sensation is enough. They are not looking to stray or even leave the security of the relationship. The idea of being able to move about pursing things at their own pace allows a natural sense of wanderlust to be slacked.

What To Do: Urge him to take nights or weekends with his friends. Through this small act, he will return excited to be back in your presence once more. It is also best to let him share what he wants to rather than pursing a bunch of details.

Emotional Closeness

Similar to the physicality, men crave the knowledge their partner longs to be close with them emotionally. They may not express such things at the beginning because of the risk involved. Men need to feel they are in a safe place with someone who has supported them. In this space, they become able to disclose the depth of what they are feeling.

What To Do: Start slow and model emotional sharing. Men, though sometimes emotionally unaware, know surrendering the things they feel to their partner feels good. They often have not been encouraged in this are, so you have to take on that role.

Encouragement and Respect

Everyone requires a pat on the back from time to time. Men often fail to absorb these expressions of care either because they do not believe they need it or they have received too little of it to activate them properly. Too often it is assumed men subsist fine without these things. A lack of familiarity should never be confused with life being satisfactory without their partner's encouragement and respect.

What To Do: Repeat yourself until your partner genuinely accepts what is being said. A careful examination of expressions and responses might be necessary to verify he does not push them aside without taking them into his heart.

Several of these things sound simple and they often begin in such a way. Taking the time, giving freely and being grateful as the relationship deepens demonstrates how important these areas are. We all impact one another. A garden may begin small and then flourish into a rich and varied verdant valley. Go slow, see the growth and revel in the ways you and your partner grow closer. You will be glad you did.

Three Areas Pointing to the End of a Relationship

Every couple longs for eternity. Unfortunately, forever challenges all couples regardless of how they started, what they have survived and the best of intentions. Being able to spot when things are coming off the rails in a relationship will allow everyone to assess what needs to be done to salvage it and if they wish to invest the time.

Area One: Communication

Communication is held up as the best barometer for telling the status of a relationship. Part of this stems from how pervasive an aspect of the whole relationship communication turns out to be. So how can a couple tell if trouble is brewing in the arena of communication?

All Is Quiet: Long, uncomfortable silences charged with tension define the time spent together. This may occur because one of the pair feels no desire to expend the energy to engage in healthy communication.

Swimming in the Shallow End: When discussions happen, the topics remain light or non threatening. Short and unemotional answers replace detailed explanations of troubles at work or pleasant things noted in the world.

Explosive Endings: If deeper conversational topic arise, couples on the brink devolve in to yelling and name calling rather than pursuing the underlying issue. It is often surprising how much energy those who want to fight can find.

Area Two: Affection

Affection takes many forms. Some of the most obvious center around the physical. While a good space to begin the search, couples concerned about the health of their relationship need to look beyond the easiest to disguise. Couple in failing relationships may seek physical pleasure when nothing else works.

Loss of Physicality: Outside of intimate physicality, couples nearing the end find no comfort or pleasure in the touch of one another. They are less likely to hold hands, hug, kiss or snuggle. These little gestures demonstrate how far apart they are.

Inequality of Time: Healthy couples spend time with one another and apart. Conversely, unhealthy relations tip towards more time apart. It can have reasonable explanations, but the separation shows how disconnected the partners are.

No Kind Acts: Recalling a time where love bloomed and blossomed, these couples may have made a cup of tea, offered a foot rub or other gestures just because. Every couple, even the harried, need to reach out in special ways. If such things evaporate, the couple needs to be concerned.

Area Three: Future

Couples nearing the end report findings themselves on a relational treadmill from which they cannot remove themselves. Seasons of staleness in long relationships are natural for a brief period and all couples face them. As thing wind down, one or both of the partners see no future with this person. They might even begin planning for life without the other person. Such behavior might manifest as searching for apartments in another area of the city, applying for work in another region or living a separate life. A couple not growing toward a future together, in some form or fashion, dies where they stand.

When the end comes, being honest and having a talk can be the hardest thing to do. Couples would prefer not acknowledge this because of feeling like failure or not knowing what is next. Ultimately, things ending respectfully eases the transition to the next phase. Everyone would rather feel strong and healthy moving forward, so have the talk.

Four Simple Guides for Social Media in Dealing with an Ex

Social media invades so many corners of life. It allows couples to meet, deepen their relationship and document the life cycle of their union. The one area social media causes far more harm than good rests in the space following a break up.

Given the sensitive nature of an ex, people require a game plan to prevent themselves from making critical missteps leading to additional pain and struggles moving forward. Let's see what a savvy person can do after the relationship ends.

DO Take a Social Media Sabbatical

Taking a break from social media serves several purpose, some of which the individual may not even know they need. The hardest step to getting away from social media is always the first. People rarely realize the extent to which their life comes into contact with numerous apps and sites designed to keep people in touch with one another. Pull the plug, even metaphorically, as quickly as possible. The longer one waits the harder the transition will be.

DON'T Lurk

If deciding to stay online, it is ever more important to keep away from an ex's profile due to the types of information located there. Seeing an ex moving forward, who they are dating and their overall mood makes things more challenging and painful. Under no circumstances should one believe the falsehood perpetuated by telling themselves they only wish to see how their ex is doing. It may start in such a vein, but will end up leading into a difficult spiral which becomes harder to pull oneself out of the impending pit.

DO Mute the Ex and Their Friends

As with not actively pursing an ex's feed, one needs to remove incoming triggers by silencing avenues of contact before they become problems. This starts with the mute button. Blocking, in most of the major social media sites, broadcasts a cutting of ties. While this may be the intent, it also projects the impression of fragility no one wishes to present. The mute button works behind the scenes like a filter like the one keeping a former co worker's restaurant reviews out of your feed. Though small, this action reduces the number of active triggers entering one's mind.

DON'T Broadcast Love Life

The temptation to document everything during a sensitive period will be heightened, especially if receiving updates from friends and family. Getting stuff out of one's head can be very beneficial. Working this out offline will bring the best results with a minimal amount of outside interference. Writing in a journal may place one in a pocket allowing for greater peace. Also, keeping the ups and downs of starting over offline will prevent additional pain from displaying all of the starts and stops to the world.

Social media connects everyone. It makes life easier while allowing the world to shrink. For healing to occur after a break up, one needs to step away from contact for a period of time, work things out in safe place with friends and family and slowly reintroduce social media back into the routine. Avoiding landmines presented by social media will speed recovery. It takes patience, time and discipline. Though difficult, it makes things better in the long run whenfinding the right person for the future.

Ticking Clock to Get Back with an Ex

Rekindling a romance hits countless hurdles. One rarely addressed is how long does one have to reestablish a relationship with an ex. Though other questions exist, one needs to take time to evaluate multiple factors before rushing back into a situation filled with concerned. Taking a walk down this path requires a few steps before answering the question of how long become too long to return to an ex.

Factors to Consider First

A hard look at the past may provide a clearer picture as to the challenges facing someone attempting to reenter an ex's life. Seemingly elementary, most people skip this step for multiple reasons. Perhaps they are driven by loneliness to see their ex as someone they are not. Or things ended in a state of ambivalence, they wonder how the new relationship may mimic the previous attempt. Two important things to consider give a clear indication of how to proceed.

Way Things Ended: The parting shows the way things were during the course of a relationship. Pain over the end can cloud judgement. Seeing how each person left and the things said will help prognosticate how likely things will begin again.

* With A Whimper: An amicable ending often leaves the door open for a second pass.
* A Low Rumbling: Things might need some time to pass before one and their ex may consider reconnecting.
* Global Thermal Nuclear War: Accusations, shouting and broken belongs bode ill for any return relational status.

Current Relational Status: As with any romantic foray, those who have moved to another individual tend to not look back at past relationships. If the ex has found another person and is making a life with them, no amount of time will be appropriate while they remain together.

Managing Expectations

This can be challenging for people because of the dual fronts being evaluated. First, the relationship itself, both past and future, need to be treated as a new thing. This means setting aside past hurts and joys while taking it on face value allowing it to grow naturally. Second, one's own excitement or reticence drive expectations into unrealistic areas. Hope, love, pain and disappointment can supercharge how a person views things moving forward.

And The Answer Is

Reading stories of those reconnecting with high school sweethearts and rekindling relationships thought long dead provides the greatest indicator of expiration dates on relationships. Truly, connection and love overcome almost any barrier, even time. The constructed concern about it being too long is valid only in light of other, more important, factors. Time grows to be more an excuse rather than a true hurdle to getting back with one's ex.

This means if the relationship is right, even if it has been a while since each person went their separate ways, it can be rekindled and flourish. A wise person capable of considering all the key factors and managing their expectations opens up an opportunity to love with someone they know and care for. They need courage most of all to not let their own fear stop them from taking the risk.

Why Men Cheat ?

A range of reasons exist for infidelity to occur. Looking at some of the key circumstances surrounding the breaking of trust, men seeking outside relationships may not know the extent to why they do what they do. This does not excuse the behavior when a partner cheats. Bear in mind while looking at this topic, cheating carries many nuances defined by the structure of each relationship. The key centers around the hiding of the activities leading to a breaking of trust with a partner.

Outside Factors:

Events or stressors pressing into the man's life might trigger a desire for outside companionship. When stated, these reasons carry the falsest notes. They often have deeper reasons underneath them. Men using them as excuses often possess far too little insight to be able to present the true reasons they cheated.

Work and Life Stress: When life becomes overwhelming, some men find the concept of investing in the one stable relationship alien. They turn to something new requiring less investment. Stress will likely destroy the new relationships as the man has not found healthy ways to cope with stress.

Boredom: By using boredom as an excuse for infidelity, the man indicates his lack of depth. A person willing to destroy as stable place because they want a taste of something interesting means they were likely not worth having a long term relationship with to begin with.

Confusion About Relationships:

Men who cheat adopt an unrealistic and twisted view of what relationships and their roles within them mean. Everyone likes to believe their partner understands the way to move forward. Unfortunately, things can short circuit the relational development of someone. One of the biggest impediments leading to a misguided view of relationships and their ups and downs comes from the model a partner possesses. A man growing up in a house where either infidelity ran rampant or quiet desperation fueled by silence gave them the idea of acceptable behaviors leading them to cheating. Keep in mind, the person's actions are their own regardless of the things they learned.

Escape and Excitement:

Some men seek something they are not finding in the environment of their current relationship. These things point to an overall immaturity. Let's look at what and how they demonstrate a lack of growth.

Excitement: The idea of the new can be alluring. Starting something can carry promise of things being different or allow exploration in avenues feeling choked by the current relationship. After several years and broken relationship, a wise person will see the roller coaster of infidelity takes a toll on everyone, including the man who cheats.

Escape: A person incapable of being emotionally honest may use an affair as a path of release from the relationship. What would cause someone to hurt another when a difficult and honest conversation would suffice? An immature person will seek freedom by the easiest path, including having their partner break up with them.

Infidelity, much like fidelity, is a choice. There are millions of excuses in several facets including biological, psychological and relational. When evaluating these reasons, they all fall back on one thing. The one who cheated made a choice to do it. Finding a way out of the aftermath can be difficult. It is important to realize a hard truth often bears out. Life is better when couples are open, honest and trusting.

Know He is a Cheater or Not