A range of reasons exist for infidelity to occur.
Looking at some of the key circumstances surrounding the breaking of trust, men
seeking outside relationships may not know the extent to why they do what they
do. This does not excuse the behavior when a partner cheats. Bear in mind while
looking at this topic, cheating carries many nuances defined by the structure
of each relationship. The key centers around the hiding of the activities
leading to a breaking of trust with a partner.
Outside Factors:
Events or stressors pressing into the man's life
might trigger a desire for outside companionship. When stated, these reasons
carry the falsest notes. They often have deeper reasons underneath them. Men
using them as excuses often possess far too little insight to be able to
present the true reasons they cheated.
Work and Life Stress: When life becomes
overwhelming, some men find the concept of investing in the one stable
relationship alien. They turn to something new requiring less investment.
Stress will likely destroy the new relationships as the man has not found
healthy ways to cope with stress.
Boredom: By using boredom as an excuse for
infidelity, the man indicates his lack of depth. A person willing to destroy as
stable place because they want a taste of something interesting means they were
likely not worth having a long term relationship with to begin with.
Confusion About Relationships:
Men who cheat adopt an unrealistic and twisted view
of what relationships and their roles within them mean. Everyone likes to
believe their partner understands the way to move forward. Unfortunately,
things can short circuit the relational development of someone. One of the
biggest impediments leading to a misguided view of relationships and their ups
and downs comes from the model a partner possesses. A man growing up in a house
where either infidelity ran rampant or quiet desperation fueled by silence gave
them the idea of acceptable behaviors leading them to cheating. Keep in mind,
the person's actions are their own regardless of the things they learned.
Escape and Excitement:
Some men seek something they are not finding in the
environment of their current relationship. These things point to an overall
immaturity. Let's look at what and how they demonstrate a lack of growth.
Excitement: The idea of the new can be alluring.
Starting something can carry promise of things being different or allow
exploration in avenues feeling choked by the current relationship. After
several years and broken relationship, a wise person will see the roller
coaster of infidelity takes a toll on everyone, including the man who cheats.
Escape: A person incapable of being emotionally
honest may use an affair as a path of release from the relationship. What would
cause someone to hurt another when a difficult and honest conversation would
suffice? An immature person will seek freedom by the easiest path, including
having their partner break up with them.
Infidelity, much like fidelity, is a choice. There
are millions of excuses in several facets including biological, psychological
and relational. When evaluating these reasons, they all fall back on one thing.
The one who cheated made a choice to do it. Finding a way out of the aftermath
can be difficult. It is important to realize a hard truth often bears out. Life
is better when couples are open, honest and trusting.
