Computer dating sites sprang up as a
replacement to matchmakers and nights of cold calling for potential mates at
local bars and clubs. Technology eases the act of meeting. However, the onus
falls to the person presenting themselves online, maybe even more so than in
person, because of ways the dating profile can be customized. This means
knowing what to include and responding to feedback becomes ever more critical
to increase the opportunity to meet the right guy and not just a guy.
Closing Down Avenues
The laundry list of people and characteristics available through
online sites means the weave of the net can be incredibly tight. Age,
lifestyle, faith and other criteria lock people into certain categories from
the outset. This means a site aggregating those of a particular religion may
never meet someone of a different worldview.
Because of this segmenting, the profile presented should remain as
open as possible to allow as many people to see it. Striking too many options
from a particular list means stopping someone from hitting reply. One of
psychological hurdles facing everyone centers around the belief what they want
for themselves is paramount and "right." Loosening the restrictions
does not mean low to no standards. It permits the opportunity to meet someone
who may show a new way of looking at the world to see if they are the right
person.
Open to Fun
Stressing serious, even foundational, matters at the initial
introduction torpedoes any future meeting. The profile exists in a space closer
to a greeting. For this reason, hot button issues and dark moments from one's
past have no place on a dating profile. Here are some ways to hue closer to the
light side and giving a chance for deeper sharing further down the line.
* Picture: Big smile, out of the house and in the sun if possible.
Several sites allow multiple photos, so have a variety.
* Activities: Select a few hobbies presenting a variety of
interests. Everyone likes movies, but hikers and artists can stand out.
* Clever: Take some time to personalize the profile with the real
aspects of your personality. If you like a historical quote or your detailed
pumpkin carving, use it.
Emphasize "Dating with Purpose"
Men reading dating profiles seek women who desire a meeting while
not on an endless carousel of dates. The reason you both signed up to the site
centers on finding someone and growing together. If not, there are other sites
for more casual encounters. Take the dating part seriously. Meet people, go out
and have fun. Someone in in a dating loop may need to reassess the profile and
intent of being on the site.
All of these suggestions can feel as though you are being asked to
be something you are not. Ultimately, you need to be honest on your profile,
with yourself and those who respond. Take your time because rushing things will
only yield greater dry spells and dates with the wrong guys. The goal should be
to find someone you want to spend all your time with. So craft the right message and let the dating sites help you find the right one.
Get Simple Words & Phrases That Capture His Heart
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