Social media
invades so many corners of life. It allows couples to meet, deepen their
relationship and document the life cycle of their union. The one area social
media causes far more harm than good rests in the space following a break up.
Given the sensitive
nature of an ex, people require a game plan to prevent themselves from making
critical missteps leading to additional pain and struggles moving forward.
Let's see what a savvy person can do after the relationship ends.
DO Take a
Social Media Sabbatical
Taking a
break from social media serves several purpose, some of which the individual
may not even know they need. The hardest step to getting away from social media
is always the first. People rarely realize the extent to which their life comes
into contact with numerous apps and sites designed to keep people in touch with
one another. Pull the plug, even metaphorically, as quickly as possible. The
longer one waits the harder the transition will be.
DON'T Lurk
If deciding
to stay online, it is ever more important to keep away from an ex's profile due
to the types of information located there. Seeing an ex moving forward, who
they are dating and their overall mood makes things more challenging and
painful. Under no circumstances should one believe the falsehood perpetuated by
telling themselves they only wish to see how their ex is doing. It may start in
such a vein, but will end up leading into a difficult spiral which becomes
harder to pull oneself out of the impending pit.
DO Mute the
Ex and Their Friends
As with not
actively pursing an ex's feed, one needs to remove incoming triggers by
silencing avenues of contact before they become problems. This starts with the
mute button. Blocking, in most of the major social media sites, broadcasts a
cutting of ties. While this may be the intent, it also projects the impression
of fragility no one wishes to present. The mute button works behind the scenes
like a filter like the one keeping a former co worker's restaurant reviews out
of your feed. Though small, this action reduces the number of active triggers
entering one's mind.
DON'T
Broadcast Love Life
The
temptation to document everything during a sensitive period will be heightened,
especially if receiving updates from friends and family. Getting stuff out of
one's head can be very beneficial. Working this out offline will bring the best
results with a minimal amount of outside interference. Writing in a journal may
place one in a pocket allowing for greater peace. Also, keeping the ups and
downs of starting over offline will prevent additional pain from displaying all
of the starts and stops to the world.
Social media
connects everyone. It makes life easier while allowing the world to shrink. For
healing to occur after a break up, one needs to step away from contact for a
period of time, work things out in safe place with friends and family and
slowly reintroduce social media back into the routine. Avoiding landmines
presented by social media will speed recovery. It takes patience, time and
discipline. Though difficult, it makes things better in the long run whenfinding the right person for the future.